Aug. 31st, 2010 12:16 pm
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[personal profile] devi
Dan's dad died on Saturday night.

He had lung cancer and was getting chemo, but nobody suspected it'd be that sudden. I was expecting things to drag on for maybe a year, slow and painful the way it happened to my grandmother and aunt, though I wasn't going into detail to Dan about the slow, painful bit. But no, he's just suddenly gone. Dan's gone home to be with his mum and brother. We are still going ahead with the plan as it stands, more or less, but he's going to be there a lot over the coming months helping them sort out the house.

He is being magnificent. As far as I can tell he's the one holding things together out there. I'm heartsick for him and yet relieved that his dad didn't have to go through, and he didn't have to watch, the agonising, undignified collapse into a shell of themselves that happened to my relatives.

He was a good man, decent and fair to the bone. He worked at the Hartwell garage for most of his life. He liked breeding chickens and fixing tractors. He was shy and jovial and had twinkly eyes and a fantastic shock of silver hair, and was constantly reading out little bits of newspaper the same way Dan is constantly reading out little bits of internet. He was, as far as I can tell, Dan's mum's only friend; Dan's really worried about her being lonely.

I don't really know what to say next. Everything is either too flippant or too dramatic in an inappropriate way. But I think Dan wanted his friends to know what's happening. He won't be at comics pub, but I'll see some of you later.

ETA: oh, you guys. Thank you all. I've pointed him at this post. x
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