To the woman downstairs, in reply to your note asking us to clean up the stairs

[devi]

It occurs to me that, though we live separated by a single thin floor, I and my housemates know very little about you. You know quite a bit about us, since the day soon after we moved in when you appeared with a checklist of questions - “have they always lived together?”, “who is their estate agent?”, “how long do they plan to stay?”, “what do they all do for a living?” and many more - and worked your way through them, ticking them off carefully as you went. But there’s an imbalance here - you’re still a mystery, and in the spirit of neighbourliness we’d like to ask a few questions of you.

- Do you ever have a conversation with anyone which isn’t made up of complaining?

- Aside from noise, building insurance, dust, being extremely punctual at all times and putting notes under your neighbours’ doors, what are you passionate about?

- When you’re drifting off to sleep at ten o’clock in your little narrow bed, what thoughts pass through your mind - that is, apart from rage at us because we’re walking around and watching TV? You’ve already told us about that.

- When we moved in, how many nights of sleep did you lose over the one-inch scratch our bookcase made on the beautiful 1970s woodchip wallpaper?

- Will you ever forgive the man who let his bath overflow through your ceiling eight years ago?

- How long has it been since you felt joy?

- Do you remember what the word means? Take your time.

- If you’ve remembered, and you’d like to tell us about your last truly joyful moment, could you try to make it one which didn’t involve earplugs, scouring pads, Dysons or Windolene?

No? Oh well.

Kind regards,
Your neighbours in Flat D.

Comments

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

Well said.

[the-maenad.livejournal.com]

Are you a member of dot_cattiness? If not, it's crying out for your input....

[lostcarpark.livejournal.com]

Well at least you can take some positive from it... she'll make a great character in one of your novels. You might have to cheer her up a little to make her believable.

[kesstrel.livejournal.com]

*rolls over and bangs on floor while simultaneously trying to wipe tears of hysteria from cheeks*

[kauket.livejournal.com]

Whilst it's all true, she did (unfortunately) have a point about the rat food on the floor.....

But I wonder when she put the note there??? Late last night? Or before 7:45 this morning. Maybe the bits of dry food kept her awake all night and so she got up extra early to compose the note...

[mooism.livejournal.com]

My neighbour has stopped sticking notes up on the walls and doors. But she'll start again when her ankle's fixed.

So I only have to put up with her prattling at me...

[eponymousarchon.livejournal.com]

That's roughly my take on obsessive 'noise'-hating neighbours too.

Still, look on the bright side, I think I managed to give mine a heart failure by ignoring him. ;)

[eponymousarchon.livejournal.com]

On another note, as you implied above, these people DO live in the world they deserve. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. And worse, that kind of worldview is self-reinforcing.

Hey! If you set verlaine onto her to wear down her worldview, you might be able to induce complete ego loss. Result!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kent/]

I hope you've sent that to her.

I'd also work out how much annoyance you can legally cause the woman, then cause her that much annoyance on a daily basis.

[secretrebel.livejournal.com]

Urghh, she sounds like a right miserable such and such.

Still you're about to give her the gift of your absence, I hope. Look forward to seeing you and verlaine this weekend...

[inskauldrak.livejournal.com]

Yeuch!

The thing is, if she's like that, it may be because of a mixture of bad experiences (for instance, how did bath-flood-bloke respond to flooding her) and loneliness.

That said, given you lot are nice people, it does seem a bit off (to say the least) that she's so on edge at you.

But on the other hand... if she's only capable of communicating via letters under your door, there's clearly something deep down that's making her afraid; not of you lot in particular, but of actual confrontation or deconstruction of her own little world-view.

By the way, I remember hearing a comment about Joyce that went that good writing doesn't need punctuation or at least very little. I tend to use far too much and have actually descended into over-use of brackets
- can you and verlaine help? ; )