Atoms!!

[devi]

"All right. This is a picture of an atom. Can you show me which part is the - "
"Miss, what's an atom?"
(blink) "You haven't done atoms? No? Okay... atoms are what all matter is made of. They're like the building blocks that everything is made from. You're made of atoms. I'm made of atoms. The air is made of atoms. There are lots of different kinds of atoms, have a look at this periodic table - "
(peering at his hand) "I can't see any."
"They're very, very tiny. Microscopic. Things don't get much smaller."
"But what if you cut one in half?"
(rashly) "There'd be a huge explosion."
"What?!"
"Um... atoms are held together by powerful forces. If you split one it releases lots of energy. That's where nuclear power comes from. But it's very hard to split them in the first place."
(he turns pale, eyes darting around) "So there might be some atoms in this room?"
"Yes, there's lots - everything is made of atoms."
"Do I have atoms in my eyes?"
"Yeah. Your eyes are made of atoms. Everything is made of atoms."
"So I might have atoms on me right now?" (He's rubbing his arms, to wipe the pesky things off)
"Well, because everything is made of atoms, yes, you do."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
(struggling to keep straight face) "No, it isn't. Don't worry."
"But what if I just did this - " (he pinches his fingers together) " - and split one by accident?"
"Really. Don't worry. It takes huge amounts of energy to split the atom. It's never going to happen."
"But if it did, miss, I'd be in the newspaper, yeah?"

Comments

Re: *falls over*

[iresprite.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* Where does that come from?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I was also being rather inaccurate in my use of the word "microscopic" :/ But I thought it might help get the point across.

[hazyjayne.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness!

Is this kid meant to be taking double science GCSE?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yes. *weeps*

Re: *falls over*

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

A sketch by Rowan Atkinson and Angus Deayton entitled "Fatal Beatings", in which Rowan Atkinson plays a boarding school headmaster, and Angus plays the father of a pupil whom the headmaster has recently beaten to death for not using the library card system properly.

[amuchmoreexotic.livejournal.com]

Your body "splits" molecules, not atoms.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

He was clearly having a big existential-doubt moment there. And I hadn't even hit him with the 'atoms are mostly empty space' bit!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. Like schoolkid alchemists.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I figured he meant chemical reactions that involve swapping electrons.

[nisaba.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

That icon is just gorgeous however.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Icon is by vodka_fairy, and it's also an image from the cover of a book I love ("Was" by Geoff Ryman).

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

I think it's fair to say that your body conducts chemical reactions daily which result in particular atoms being associated with fewer than their usual quota of electrons.

[amuchmoreexotic.livejournal.com]

Oh, right...

[inskauldrak.livejournal.com]

oh deary me, at least there's more hope for him than posh twat student!

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

And that would have been even more fun!

[immoline2.livejournal.com]

sweet yet terrifying.. reminds me when I helped my brother to mark maths scripts at his school.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Best punchline ever!

[xxxlibris.livejournal.com]

This is why I wanted to be a science teacher. Wonder if there's still time?

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

I'm glad he has a patient and kind tutor like you, in that case, and I hope you can give him the considerable amount of help he needs. :-)

(Not sarcastic!)

[secretrebel.livejournal.com]

Seconded. Way cool.

But there's something odd up with the transparency of the icon.

[primavera.livejournal.com]

You made that up.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I didn't, believe it or not! It's pretty much word for word. I wrote it down on the bus afterwards.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm just a private tutor, and my only science qualification is having liked it a lot at school, so there probably is!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Being a proper science teacher would take longer, though... :/

[otterylexa.livejournal.com]

I would definitely have said something like "They're like lego bricks, everything is made out of them."