Who are John and Barb?

[devi]

Found under the wallpaper in our bathroom. Barb and John had just finished scraping off a previous layer of foul yellow and brown paper, making holes in the wall in the process. Why does John specify that he's from Essex? If he is, why was he wallpapering a house in Oxford? Perhaps this was Barb's house, and she invited him up for a weekend to help. Maybe he's just a painter and decorator (though clearly not a very good one) who likes leaving his signature on jobs. Or is his name John Weatherby Essex? Why does he write "phone no" and no phone number? Did Barb (of the more practical, squarish handwriting) say "Why would they need to know your phone number, you daft bugger?" and stop him in his tracks? John and Barb went on to decorate the bathroom entirely in grey and pink. With those colours it must have been some time in the 80s. Where are they now?
Edit: I just walked into the bathroom and there on the wall facing me was another message, faintly done in smudges of white paint and big enough that I hadn't seen it with my nose up close to the wall last night. "LEE", it says, "SEP 94". So maybe Barb and John actually hung the yellow and brown stuff, so god knows how long ago they were. And it's not 80s wallpaper after all. Lee-in-'94, what were you thinking?
Edit 2, midnight: It has just occurred to me that there was probably a Barb in Bognor, and the writer of her name couldn't spell.

Comments

[gnimmel.livejournal.com]

Maybe Barb wanted his phone number after he'd gone, and carefully chipped it off the wall to keep.

Chris's mum's bedroom had a large performance chart rating out of 10 the sexual attributes of a number of local women pencilled onto one wall behind the wallpaper. It was rather alarming.

[psi.livejournal.com]

Heh, reminds me of that dreadful Chuck Palahniuk book, 'Diary'.
Except there's no psychotic threats on the wall...or have you more paper to scrape off? :-)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I like your idea. And... eek. She wasn't on it, was she?

[kauket.livejournal.com]

me and my brother wrote all over the walls before they were wallpapers by my parents. I think it's kinda cool, random messages hidden under the paper.

[anam-uk.livejournal.com]

Maybe their bodies are in that gigantic chest freezer in your cellar, oh wait thats MY house

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

Maybe they're notes the decorators are making about future clients?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

That makes an awful lot of sense. Though it doesn't explain why the decorators were so very bad.

Or maybe we can blame all the missing chunks of wall on Lee (see edit).

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I was all excited when I found these, even though they aren't that interesting.

I wish they'd dated it.

Sorry; I'm irrelevant

[cosmolinguist]

I am envious of your icon.

urban archaeology

[cheerfulcynic.livejournal.com]

Behind the horrible wardrobe which had been fitted on top of 4 layers of carpet, and beneath the shiny rose-patterned wallpaper, someone had scratched a giant heart shape into the plaster and written 'Elvis' in the middle of it.

Following a brief moment of urban archaeologist's excitement, I then realised it is going to impossible to cover with paint.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Boring sensible theory! But sadly probably the correct one.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I don't think you can assume each name was written by its owner.

For example, at the local playground here in sunny Feltham is a graffitum which reads (approximately) "Kaylee S, all holes 50p, call <local number>". I would hazard a guess that the writer was not the named individual !

[gnimmel.livejournal.com]

Not unless she once had some sort of cutesy nickname she's not telling us about....

[miss-newham.livejournal.com]

You should read Home by Julie Myerson, which is full of her speculating about such things in her own house and unearthing the stories of everyone who ever lived there, and then you should write your own version which would be infinitely less irritating than hers.

Possibly related... actually, almost certainly not related

[mr-snips.livejournal.com]

While wrestling with the house water tap today, I noticed a tiny hole right at the back of the dank and dismal Next To The Gas Meter Space. Dropping the monkey wrench elegantly on my boot, I bent down to peer into the Space, just in time to see a small spider brush aside a dusty piece of web and crawl down the hole. At the end of the tunnel, I could see a little light.

I conclude that I have found an entrance to Spider Narnia, a magical land full of giant juicy legless flies and dark, moldering houses, where humans have never invented the broom. Strangely, most of the exits from Spider Narnia lead out into the U bends under domestic sinks. I have already begun a crash dieting program, and I shall be testing this theory as soon as I have lost enough weight to fit down my sink plughole.



PS: Yes, I have been drinking. Why do you ask?

PPS: Your actual post (which I have totally ignored) is lovely, by the way :)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Diary was a bit rubbish all right (he really can't write women) but I did like the sealed rooms thing. There is still a small piece of paper on one wall. Start the scary music now...

Googlewall

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

John Weatherly - Apparently not content cross-posting to five religious newsgroups, Mr. Weatherly at times will add alt.freemasonry to his repertoire. In a bizarre encounter in July, 2004 he jumped in on a thread wherein a poster had made the claim that Freemasonry banned Jesus from the lodge.

John is also a research geophysicist for the US Army Corps of Engineers Snow & Ice Branch.

“Gardening with Barb,” with Barb Bogner

Come learn how to make flower planters stunning for sun or shade. Learn which plants to use, how to make dazzling combinations, and how to make everything grow lush and beautiful.

There you are, all your questions answered by the magic of the internet...

Re: Googlewall

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Oh my. There's a book in these people.

(They cut it up and each ate half before they put up the wallpaper, for inspiration)

[psi.livejournal.com]

Yeah Diary was to mark a downturn for him, I think. I got 'Haunted' last year and got about 3 chapters in before giving up. It's dreadful.

Did you take the small piece of paper off? *suspense!*