Oh my, I'm going to be rich.

[devi]

My name is Mr.William Kojo, I am the Ashanti
regional manager of the Barclays Bank of Ghana in West
Africa. I am a Christian. I do not want problems but I
just hope you can assist me. I write you this letter
in good faith.

Woooo! I just got Nigerian-spammed! I feel like I've had some sort of rite of passage.

But Mr Kojo has made a serious tactical error. After the way they've treated verlaine, how could he possibly think I'd help out a manager of a Barclays Bank?

Comments

[mooism.livejournal.com]

I read about a guy who managed to get a 419-scammer to waste $350 on import duties for some worthless junk. Any chance you could take it one better and con money out of the 419er? :-)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

350 dollars? Wow. I was enough in awe of the guy who managed to get £2.50 out of them.

Mmm, screwing money out of Barclays, even if it's not really them....

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kent/]

It wasn't a 419 scammer, it was an E-Bay scammer. Made the guy pay the import duty on a $2000 Powerbook that turned out to be a ring binder with keys from a dead keyboard stuck to it.

Many tribute sites exist, this seems to be a pretty central one:
http://www.p-p-p-powerbook.com/

[mooism.livejournal.com]

Oops, quite right. Mea culpa.

[al-fruitbat.livejournal.com]

But they have got several 419 scammers to pose holding stupid signs as they wait for their victims at the airport (http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/) (scroll down) ;-)

[kiaransalyn.livejournal.com]

I suggest a reply along the lines of:

"Dear Mr Kojo,

If you truly were a Christian, you wouldn't be working for a bank. Since these institutions are a well-known front for devilry. Why even the name Barclays overtly encourages dendraphilia. I suggest you read Leviticus more closely. It may just save your soul. You sinner!

Yours sincerely

Mr T. Blair."

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

Interesting. Barclays have never been anything but the soul of usefulness to me. (OTOH I've never been a complicated customer to deal with.)

[kasku.livejournal.com]

Ah, aren't they the funnest emails ever? ;-)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

And the sites where people make fools of them are even funnier!

The most fun thing about spam is the names, though - it's a pity this guy has a boring, relatively normal name and not something like Mr. Truthfulness Q. Flamingo :)

[inskauldrak.livejournal.com]

That's only your first? My word, you have led a sheltered life haven't you? ; )

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and I've been using email for ten years. Not sure how I managed that one.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kent/]

I think it's a sad comedown. Time was, 419 scammers were princes and aristocrats, whose fathers were killed in revolutions, and whose money could only be rescued from the revolutionaries by the aid of western banking. Now look what we're reduced to.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yeah. From noble, persecuted royalty to.... bank managers? *boggle*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kent/]

Actually, that also sounds like an excerpt from verlaine's life. To hear him tell it.

[-stunner.livejournal.com]

hi. my name is lucy. you dont know me but i work with matthew at Upminster library. As he's leaving in a few weeks we were just wondering if you had any suggestions as to what we can get him as a leaving present. Hope you don't mind me contacting you. If you have got any ideas would you mind emailing me - lucysalmon@hotmail.com

Thanks a lot

lucy x
p.s i hope it doesnt see this!!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Happy to help ;) What sort of budget are you thinking of?

[-stunner.livejournal.com]

good point! sheila (our boss) said perhaps a book or something. erm... ill ask her how much has been collected and ill get back to you.

cheers x