Kids these days, don't know they're born.

[devi]

As some of you might remember, I was at my cousin's wedding in Kerry a few weeks ago. As I was stumbling back down the aisle after the interminable ceremony, punch-drunk from the assault of hyper-Catholicism (did you know that the full version of the Catholic wedding vows requires you to promise not to use contraception, which my cousin blithely did?), I found this on the bookshelves at the back among piles of The Irish Catholic newspaper:





Wow, I thought. The Church are sufficiently on the ball to produce a parents' guide aimed specifically at old-school punks (of modalverben's vintage, perhaps) who have settled down after their wild youth and are dealing with parenthood. And sure enough, inside I found concerned letters like these:

"Despite all my efforts to get my son into the Pistols and the Clash, he insists on filling his ears with commercial, manufactured chart-pap. What can I do to save him from this vile and dangerous habit?"

"All my daughter wants is a job at Citibank, working her way up the financial ladder, and all the designer trainers she can wear at the weekends. I have done my best to teach her right from wrong. Where have I messed up?"

"While cleaning my son's room, under the mattress I discovered a stash of literature from the Conservative Party. I fear he may have joined it in secret. How do I broach this awkward subject?"

Of course, Father Paul Andrews (S.J.), writer for The Sacred Heart Messenger magazine, handled all these questions adroitly and soothingly. The world needs more people like Father Paul.

Comments

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Shame there isn't a photo of Father Paul on the cover - traditional priestly garb combined with a ten inch high flame red mohawk would work well, I think.

(Aside: Amused to note that Amazon's top hit for Paul Andrews is the Tomb of God. Just for a moment, I was in a very confused place !)

[modalverben.livejournal.com]

Oh my word, the chap on the left looks exactly like the drummer in an old band of mine. Without the mohican I hasten to add.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm horribly mistaken, but isn't that 'chap' a girl ?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I was going to say "indeed, Father Paul must be a punk priest because he understands punks' problems so well", but then priests have been addressing family problems for many years without ever having families, so that argument falls down. It's a lovely image, though.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

You are clearly unschooled in the ways of punk!

(Though I thought so too.)

[alfaguru.livejournal.com]

There's one for Trisha:

"I thought I was gay until I found out all the chaps I'd slept with were girls"

[elethe.livejournal.com]

Well, if he's not a girl why has he got bosoms?

[ravenblack.livejournal.com]

They actually belong to the red-haired one, which is a girl.

[anam-uk.livejournal.com]

You did put the e1:20 in the SVP box didn't you ?

Scan us some of the actual pages, go on, you know you want to

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Why, of course I did. In fact, my brother and I split the costs, and when I'm finished with it I'll be sending it to him to mock in *his* blog :)

And I *was* planning to post some of the text. It's mind-boggling.

[modalverben.livejournal.com]

Oh hell, sorry, what a dimwit.

Oh my word, the chap on the right looks exactly like the drummer in an old band of mine. Without the mohican I hasten to add.

Duh.