the best bad news I've ever had

[devi]

I was woken up today by frantic buzzing on the doorbell. When I got down the stairs, semi-clad with my eyes still bleary and my hair like a bomb in a hair factory, the postman was gone and my manuscript was sitting in the hall looking forlorn.

It took two cups of very sugary coffee and a hearty breakfast before I could get the courage up to open it and read my rejection letter. I was fully expecting something like 'this is terrible self-indulgent twentysomething dross, all the characters are hateful and pitiable, and you should do us all a favour and never pick up a pen again'.

But no. Agent Guy liked the characters and the ideas. He said some very nice things about style and imagination. The main problem, he says, is that there's too much crammed into it, too many plotlines going on at once, and it doesn't all fit together. I knew this deep down anyway, if I'm honest. And then he wrote, "It's like Michelangelo's David... if you dropped him off the Empire State Building." Okay, I winced, but I laughed too. I never thought I'd laugh out loud at a rejection letter.

He says to send him another one with a simpler plot. (Hmm. Writing frenzy over Christmas?)

I'd have expected to be depressed at a time like this - to think my whole summer had been wasted writing this messy farrago of a book which should be four different books by rights. But I'm not. I'm actually quite pleased.

See? The Fear is totally random.


Maybe I'm just still blissed out by having a go on tjej's new cello at her and miss_newham's luau party last night. I love cellos. Songs with cellos in make me weak at the knees. (I should really make a mix CD of the Best Cello Songs Ever - "Unfinished Sympathy", Ballboy's "Something's Going To Happen Soon", something by Invocal, everything the Magnetic Fields have ever done live...) But I'd never touched one or tried to play one till last night, and I got a huge kick out of just drawing the bow across the strings and making this fabulous rich warm thrumming sound... mmmmm.

Even though all I could play was "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" (the easiest song in the world on a stringed instrument) and that was probably out of tune, I still want a cello for my very own now. Don't know where I'd put it, though.

Generally a wonderful night, full of showtunes and Danish pudding and tinsel and wine. I wore my new, utterly ludicrous silver Buffalo shoes, at which tjej declared "You rule space!"

I may not have an agent, but I RULE SPACE. Cool.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_corpse_/]

I still want a cello for my very own now. Don't know where I'd put it, though.

Between your thighs. Duh!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Much as I'd like to keep it between my thighs permanently, I have a feeling I might have to occasionally put it away... bah.

[ratmmjess.livejournal.com]

I want your rejection letters. That one sounds about as painless as possible.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I know - I feel like I got off very lightly. I've only had brief conversations with him in the past and for all I knew, he could have been capable of world-class scathe. I've seen some stinking rejection letters on writers' discussion boards. (Come to think of it, a lot of the worst were by Marion Zimmer Bradley...)

Care to share any classics of yours?

[ratmmjess.livejournal.com]

Actually, the ones that sting me the most aren't the "This needs a lot of work" variety. The ones I find the most painful are the brief, one-line, "Sorry, not interested" kind. At least scathing and even insulting tells me that the story was read, and the fact that the story attracted scorn spurs me to improve my writing. The cold, brief dismissal makes me feel like whatever I've written wasn't even worth the effort to insult. Better scorn than silence, for me.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

That's a fair point. It's better to provoke any sort of feeling, even if that feeling is disgust, than to be met with indifference!

You're right, a form letter would have had me crying into a stiff drink, never mind that it was 10am...

[ratmmjess.livejournal.com]

It's of course unfair to the editors, but I always think of a story submission as akin to asking someone out on a date. If they say yes, great! If they say no in a demeaning way, I can console myself that it's their problem, not mine. But if I get a polite, minimal denial...that stings.

[haggisthesecond.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear he didn't take you on right away. He really must have seen a lot of potential in your work though, because agents are generally way too busy to offer good constructive criticism with their rejections (I hear some even just use a rubber stamp in preference to even the briefest of form letters). So sure, rewrite, resubmit, start another novel, submit that one, develop your craft and when you're ready the right agent will come along. x

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

That's great to hear. It was quite a long letter too, about a page and a half, so I'm even more pleased now!

[ravenblack.livejournal.com]

That rejection letter makes me want to read your book. It makes it sound like the anti-Lord-of-the-Rings (the book in which too many words are crammed into too little plot). And a David dropped off a building would be entertaining like a 3D jigsaw puzzle, whereas a David not dropped off a building, well, everyone's seen that before.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the compliments.

That was kind of what I was going for - lots of little bits that built up into a complicated collage with a big picture. So the jigsaw analogy is bang on. Trouble is, I think I'm the only person in the world who knows how to complete the jigsaw...

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

Good! Er... bad! Um... both! In any case, I'm certainly glad it wasn't worse.

I'd also point to item seven here (http://www.mil-millington.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/writing.htm?urlID=814655365) out of a very sensible-looking list; it may be that your novel is perfectly fine and it's just thet the first 16 agents you try are too dense to recognise it. However, when you get to agent seventeen and they all say the same thing, perhaps they know better than you after all.

I'm trying to reconcile the fact that it's good for you to be your own harshest critic with the fact that you shouldn't be too put off by other people's criticism; if you genuinely do think there was too much crammed in all along, then all well and good and take the appropriate remedial action, but I doubt you would have sent it to an agent if you really did think that and it might well be that you are just letting the agent perusade you as to what you might have believed at the time.

My guide to being published is just to get damn lucky, be in the right place at the right time and find a vacancy for a book to be written, which is much easier said than done. (Refer to "get damn lucky" above.)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

The thing is, when I sent it off I'd been immersed in its world for the past three months and it all made sense to me. Since then, though, with distance and objectivity, I *have* been thinking it's a bit of a mess.

There's a big overarching theme I was trying to explore through all the different stories, but I think I erred too much on the side of subtlety as well. (Maybe if my next one has a message it should have neon lights around it, blinking, and a great big arrow saying "LOOK! IT'S THE MESSAGE!")

Maybe it's basically okay, but it's the sort of book you can only get away with when you're established.

[eponymousarchon.livejournal.com]

I RULE SPACE."

You rule, end of message and out!

Congrats on the interest and good luck with the next 'un.

(PS: We still have those old Punches kept safe for our nexty meeting, by the way.)

[miss-newham.livejournal.com]

Why hadn't he read it and written back IMMEDIATELY? I want to be your agent instead, but my publishing strategy would involve photocopying a hundred copies of your novel and then dumping piles in public buildings. Which would be a start, but still... Had you really never played a cello before? Clearly your shoes give you super powers!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Your strategy fits in perfectly with the theme of the book! I'd hire you...

I played violin for many many years, but never cello.

[miss-newham.livejournal.com]

That's how I distributed Freeze-Dried, after giving a copy to everyone I knew. Nobody who picked one up ever got back to me though.

[lostcarpark.livejournal.com]

Aw tough break. At least he's still interested. Maybe take a few elements out of that one and turn them into a simpler novel?

Have a great writing Christmas!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking it would divide up quite neatly into three separate books.

[plasticsturgeon.livejournal.com]

You rule space...and time.

off topic

[geeveecatullus.livejournal.com]

wow. You're the only person on livejournal who has Songdog listed as an interest.

Re: off topic

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

(Posted accidentally as my housemate there, whoops)

There used to be one other person (who's now deleted his journal). He turned out to be Songdog's sound guy.

Do you like them?

Re: off topic

[geeveecatullus.livejournal.com]

yeah, I like them loads!
Wish I could see them live some times.

Re: off topic

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I wonder when they're playing London next?

Re: off topic

[geeveecatullus.livejournal.com]

I was in London they day after they played in summer 2003 (I only found out at the ICA itself, if I had known that earlier I could have easily timed my trip around it)

But they should come somewhere near me, like Munich or Vienna or northern italy.