Atoms!!

[devi]

"All right. This is a picture of an atom. Can you show me which part is the - "
"Miss, what's an atom?"
(blink) "You haven't done atoms? No? Okay... atoms are what all matter is made of. They're like the building blocks that everything is made from. You're made of atoms. I'm made of atoms. The air is made of atoms. There are lots of different kinds of atoms, have a look at this periodic table - "
(peering at his hand) "I can't see any."
"They're very, very tiny. Microscopic. Things don't get much smaller."
"But what if you cut one in half?"
(rashly) "There'd be a huge explosion."
"What?!"
"Um... atoms are held together by powerful forces. If you split one it releases lots of energy. That's where nuclear power comes from. But it's very hard to split them in the first place."
(he turns pale, eyes darting around) "So there might be some atoms in this room?"
"Yes, there's lots - everything is made of atoms."
"Do I have atoms in my eyes?"
"Yeah. Your eyes are made of atoms. Everything is made of atoms."
"So I might have atoms on me right now?" (He's rubbing his arms, to wipe the pesky things off)
"Well, because everything is made of atoms, yes, you do."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
(struggling to keep straight face) "No, it isn't. Don't worry."
"But what if I just did this - " (he pinches his fingers together) " - and split one by accident?"
"Really. Don't worry. It takes huge amounts of energy to split the atom. It's never going to happen."
"But if it did, miss, I'd be in the newspaper, yeah?"

Comments

*falls over*

[kesstrel.livejournal.com]

Bless.... how old is he? Is this the GCSE lad you've been telling me about?

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

Can I have your students? Can you be my teacher?

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I can't decide if that's funny or frightening.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

*fluff*! and Eek!

Re: *falls over*

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yep, he's just gone 16, I think. The other week he was very surprised that the earth goes round the sun.

[london-imp.livejournal.com]

I thought that was from a Simpsons episode.

Re: *falls over*

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

very surprised that the earth goes round the sun.

Ah well, it took European civilization quite a while to pick up on that one, too -- so he needn't feel bad about it...

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I know. I can picture him trying and trying to split an atom so he'll get into the newspaper...

But it's also frightening that people can walk around being humans for 16 years in a society with an education system and not know that the earth goes round the sun, etc.

[elethe.livejournal.com]

That's absolutely fantastic. Made my day.

Re: *falls over*

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

When I demonstrated I felt like Galileo. Only without the threat of being burned as a heretic, which was nice.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Gladly, but I don't think I'm very good at teaching science :/

(I'm supposed to be teaching him maths and English, but his family have decided I should go over his science with him as well)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Ringing distant bells. Was there one called 'Bart Splits The Atom'?

[london-imp.livejournal.com]

I have absolutely no idea!

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

When I was a pup some friends and I devoted far too much time to crushing pencil leads in the lids of our desks in the hope that the graphite would turn into diamonds.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

To be fair, his body splits atoms every day, of course; that's how chemicals work. It's splitting nuclei that's hard and dangerous :)

[astrofeline.livejournal.com]

Aww hehe excellent ;)

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

Get him fast-tracked into a BA Philosophy course asap. That's my tip.

Re: *falls over*

[iresprite.livejournal.com]

Only without the threat of being burned as a heretic, which was nice.

You kids have it easy these days. When I was young, I used to be burned as a heretic every week and twice on Sundays.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

That's true, but I didn't get as far as explaining that. I could also have gone all quantum and started talking about quarks and stuff instead of saying that atoms were the smallest piece of matter you could have, but I think I'd probably have given him a nosebleed.

[kauket.livejournal.com]

It reminds me of the first episode of Red Dwarf...

"They’re dead Dave." Replies Holly.
"Who is?" says Lister.
"Everybody Dave" replies Holly.
"What, Captain Hollister?" Asks Lister.
"Everybody’s dead Dave." Answers Holly.
"What, Todd Hunter?" responds Lister as he eats some more of the white powder.
"Everybody’s dead Dave." Answers Holly.
"What Selby?" asks Lister in a sort of nonchalant disbelief.
"They’re all dead. Everybody’s dead Dave!" says Holly with a slight tinge of irritation.
"Peterson isn’t is he?" Says you know who.
"Everybody is DEAD Dave." Replies Holly even more irritated.
"Not Chen?"
"Gordon Bennett, yes Chen, everybody, everybody’s dead Dave!"
"Wot Rimmer?"
"He’s dead Dave, everybody’s dead, everybody is dead Dave!"
"Wait" says Lister finally, "are you trying to tell me that everybody is dead?"
Holly mutters, "I wish I’d never let him out in the first place…"

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Mine too, though it was a struggle not to giggle until I was outside afterwards...

[triskellian]

Reminds me of Red Dwarf...
Lister: You mean everyone's dead?
Holly: Yes.
Lister: What about the captain?
Holly: He's dead.
Lister: What about Rimmer?
Holly: He's dead.
[repeat several times]
Holly: Everybody's dead. Everybody. Is. Dead.
Lister: So you're telling me everybody's dead?

[triskellian]

Snap!

Re: *falls over*

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

"I thought then, as I do now, that he might have been a very different boy indeed if he had received a few more fatal beatings."

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Ooh, is that what your hair looks like now? Cool.