Atoms!!

[devi]

"All right. This is a picture of an atom. Can you show me which part is the - "
"Miss, what's an atom?"
(blink) "You haven't done atoms? No? Okay... atoms are what all matter is made of. They're like the building blocks that everything is made from. You're made of atoms. I'm made of atoms. The air is made of atoms. There are lots of different kinds of atoms, have a look at this periodic table - "
(peering at his hand) "I can't see any."
"They're very, very tiny. Microscopic. Things don't get much smaller."
"But what if you cut one in half?"
(rashly) "There'd be a huge explosion."
"What?!"
"Um... atoms are held together by powerful forces. If you split one it releases lots of energy. That's where nuclear power comes from. But it's very hard to split them in the first place."
(he turns pale, eyes darting around) "So there might be some atoms in this room?"
"Yes, there's lots - everything is made of atoms."
"Do I have atoms in my eyes?"
"Yeah. Your eyes are made of atoms. Everything is made of atoms."
"So I might have atoms on me right now?" (He's rubbing his arms, to wipe the pesky things off)
"Well, because everything is made of atoms, yes, you do."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
(struggling to keep straight face) "No, it isn't. Don't worry."
"But what if I just did this - " (he pinches his fingers together) " - and split one by accident?"
"Really. Don't worry. It takes huge amounts of energy to split the atom. It's never going to happen."
"But if it did, miss, I'd be in the newspaper, yeah?"

Comments

*falls over*

[kesstrel.livejournal.com]

Bless.... how old is he? Is this the GCSE lad you've been telling me about?

Re: *falls over*

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yep, he's just gone 16, I think. The other week he was very surprised that the earth goes round the sun.

Re: *falls over*

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

very surprised that the earth goes round the sun.

Ah well, it took European civilization quite a while to pick up on that one, too -- so he needn't feel bad about it...

Re: *falls over*

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

When I demonstrated I felt like Galileo. Only without the threat of being burned as a heretic, which was nice.

Re: *falls over*

[iresprite.livejournal.com]

Only without the threat of being burned as a heretic, which was nice.

You kids have it easy these days. When I was young, I used to be burned as a heretic every week and twice on Sundays.

Re: *falls over*

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

"I thought then, as I do now, that he might have been a very different boy indeed if he had received a few more fatal beatings."

Re: *falls over*

[iresprite.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* Where does that come from?

Re: *falls over*

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

A sketch by Rowan Atkinson and Angus Deayton entitled "Fatal Beatings", in which Rowan Atkinson plays a boarding school headmaster, and Angus plays the father of a pupil whom the headmaster has recently beaten to death for not using the library card system properly.

Re: *falls over*

[robot-mel.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness, when I read that I was picturing a 6 year old!

Re: *falls over*

[lostcarpark.livejournal.com]

What are they teaching kids these days? I'm sure I was trying to devise ways to split atoms in my garden shed by the time I was nine years old (then I got a ZX81 and discovered computers, and the world breathed a collective sigh of relief).

If you have to tell him the world is round, make sure to reassure him that England is on the top half, so there's no fear of him falling off...