LJDrama lite

[devi]

Hey guys, look, I've picked up a random crazy-troll-person who's pretending to be a Christian! Check it out!

And have a look at the comments on this post on its own journal about how it "tried to help a large girl feel happier about herself". It's pretty funny. The persona rings less and less true as you read down.

Now I know I've really arrived as a blogger. If only I wasn't a depressed alcoholic incapable of happiness, I might be pleased, but now if you'll excuse me I have to go fall asleep in a pool of my own tragic vomit.

Comments

[sparktastic.livejournal.com]

I am awake at stupid o'clock, resolutely determined to not sleep until I've been rendered completely comatose by exhaustion.

Go us?

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

I feel the need to bookmark The Skeptics Annotated Bible :)

[philipstorry.livejournal.com]

Ooh, now that is WONDERFUL!

:-)

[e-pepys.livejournal.com]

Yes, that is excellent. Thank you for the link.

Also the link on to The Brick Testament (http://thebricktestament.com/).

[carbonunit.livejournal.com]

Neat. It was probably searching for posts to do with resolutions and found yours. Christians and also $cientologists sometimes do stuff like that to try and find an audience open to suggestion.

A good way to catch these guys, if you ever need some, is to start an IRC channel called #lonely or #searching and give it an info like "I don't know what to do with my life". In minutes hordes of these guys will come pouring in looking for fresh souls.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

Hey, no one spammed *my* resolutions post! Mind you, as one of the 12 countries on my list to go to this year is the Vatican City, unlike some of us I'm clearly looking out for the wellbeing of my immortal soul ;)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

"if you ever need some"... this makes me wonder what for. "Hey guys, I have this experiment I need you to help me with, based on one by some old dude called Milgram you probably haven't heard of."

Thing is, I don't think our spammer actually *is* a Christian at all. In the comments of the other post he goes from his normal persona "with love"-speak, to a sort of faux-preacher mode of speaking, and finally into teenage-gamer-speak with expressions like "soooo brokeback mountain" (!?). There's just something a bit off about the whole thing.

[carbonunit.livejournal.com]

Yes, I do believe you are right. A look at the main stream of it's journal shows nothing but a string of deliberately inflamatory statements on various political and religious issues. Just a troll.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I got one too, but I confess I deleted it and marked it as spam. I'm hoping this qualifies me for entry to hell.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

I just ignored one I got, so that'll probably be Purgatory for me if the Pope doesn't abolish it first.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I wanted to let you lot point and laugh before I did anything with it, so, well, I'll see you in that lake o' fire.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

...Oh, yours is the same guy! And didn't even say anything about God, which supports my Theory.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

The devil is in the details, or so they say.

[mr_magicfingers]

I liked the reply to them that went in from gillen.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

*grin* Yup. I wasn't going to feed the troll directly, but when it's such quality troll-fare I can't complain.

[stiofan.livejournal.com]

Thats excellent. Oh did I laugh.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

A Religious troll. A bit of a collectors' item, them.

I couldn't be arsed with reading all of it - trolls are boring - but I'll take you're word for it that your new bestest friend doesn't ring true. There's an agenda to this online identity and it overrides everything, even the natural expression of personality through writing style.

So, what does it want? Could be recruiting for creepy religious cults, could be a sexual predator, could be just plain nuts.

Your responses are, respectively (and improbably, deceitfully, and rather distastefully):

1. Publish the precepts of the Nicean Creed on your Journal under the heading 'I believe';
2. For a couple of weeks, swap out that lovely tinted cameo portrait you use as an icon with something that looks like a rhino's arse on a bad lipstick day (try a publicity shot of Ann Widdecombe);
3. DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS particularly as this one may be doing good by challenging degenerate sinners and godless materialist nerds.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

The Nicean Creed? I've just been googling fruitlessly for the lyrics to the Tiger Lillies' "Terrible".

"On Thursdays, I sodomise tender virgin nuns..."

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

When drinking whisky in gentleman company, I have been known to put on a plummily rounded and aristocratic bellow:

Bring me another altar boy! This one's full.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

On Mondays murder children, little girls and boys
I put my hands around their throats till they don't make a noise
Tuesdays torture animals, pluck off small birds wings
Watch them as they bleed to death, then they don't sing
Wednesdays I defecate on the priest's front door
If the priest he does complain, I just do it some more
Thursdays I Molatov the local orphans home
Love those little orphans, charred down to the bone

I'm terrible, terrible, shouldn't be allowed
To sing my songs of filth to a decent crowd

On Fridays sodomize tender virgin nuns
Tie them up, lear at them, and then I have my fun
Saturdays I stand and sing my sad, sad, sick, sick songs
To anyone who listen, who in the head is wrong
Sundays, Sundays, the day I love the best
Rape, murder, pillage while other people rest

I'm terrible, terrible, shouldn't be allowed
To sing my songs of filth to a decent crowd
I'm terrible, terrible, shouldn't be allowed
But when I do offend someone it makes me feel so proud

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

(Well, that explains why I was failing to google it, the bits I thought I knew were all wrong)

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid to say I c&p'ed that without looking at it - now that I have, and seen the poor quality of the transcription effort, I wouldn't be so sure the bits you remember aren't right! But at least the spirit of the thing is present and correct.

I’ve found Jesus!

[mooism.livejournal.com]

(http://noticias.ya.com/fotos/200405/1006.htm)

And after the 13^th hour he rose from the operating table…

Re: I’ve found Jesus!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Gosh, he hasn't aged well, has he?

Re: I’ve found Jesus!

[mooism.livejournal.com]

I was going to say “at least he has all his own teeth,” but I reckon he looks a bit too much like Pac-Man. So they must be false.

[dubnordie.livejournal.com]

I loved the "lowely heathens" comeback on one post. Does anyone really talk like that any more?