Repeating myself

[devi]

so tired - eyes full of fluff and bits of grit - throat achy and swollen from too many words passing through - brain achy from trying to explain – didn't stop till ten o'clock tonight - tired - neck doesn't want to hold my head up - reading things up for tomorrow and not a single concept more will go in - the webpage makes no sense to me - I read it again, still makes no sense – tired - two days off in the last fifteen - work in the evenings too - coffee breaks are not for coffee but for reading subject specs and staying just an inch ahead - lunchtime is for printing out exam papers – tired - did I say tired? I'm too tired to remember.

Everything else is stalled, the book, seeing people, even replying to comments, sorry. There is only work. Though even with this bombed-out brain I can recognise that the work is worth it.

I have a brief window for me in the morning, walking to the bus through the woods, through patchy frost and slanting sunlight, stopping to stare at blossoming trees. I never get to drink all of my morning coffee because it doesn't have long enough to cool, so I drink maybe half of it in small wincing gulps and when I leave the house sleep is still wrapped round me, warm and cushiony like my big black coat.

Then I get on the bus and start marking papers.

Comments

[the-elyan.livejournal.com]

If you can recognise that the job is worthwhile, that's enough to be going on with for a while, I suppose.

My job is worthwhile only in small parts, but I can take it off at the end of the day, unlike my last one, which followed me round like a malevolent hound.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

My Dad's retiring later this year. He's a teacher. I don't think he's going to miss it.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I know my mum didn't. It's six years since she retired and she still rings me up on Monday mornings to gloat.

[mooism.livejournal.com]

*sends virtual tepid coffee*

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

So this is who you are; I was wondering...

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

It's one of the people I am, yeah.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

I really like all the people you are, I'm just sad I don't get to meet them any more.

[mr-snips.livejournal.com]

Four more days! Four more days!
And then you can sleep through Easter...

Which sounds like it might be a very good idea :-)</FONT.

[cartographer.livejournal.com]

sleep is still wrapped round me, warm and cushiony

This makes me smile. The rest makes me nod in recognition -- my TEFL weeks were exactly like this. We crashed out into a pub after the class one evening (one pint and then stumbling half-asleep to a bus and another couple of hours of lesson planning) and compared notes. Every one of the girls had, at least once, cried from tiredness and the impossibility of keeping up. Knowing that it was all of us and knowing it was just for a few weeks, it all became doable. As Santos said in West Wing the other night. "You can hang by your thumbs for five days." It's painful, but it won't kill you. And when it's over, you can look back and be proud of how you survived.

I really like this post.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And for the moral support.

My thumbs are a bit sore, yeah, but I'm alive and back to work on the book :)

[elrestodemivida.livejournal.com]

*Hug* My work's been more hectic lately too, but nowhere near as bad as this sounds. Best of luck - you'll get through it, and it's not for ever.

Make your morning coffee a bit stronger then add col d water..?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Make your morning coffee a bit stronger then add col d water..?

You know, I never thought of this. I am a fool.

[elrestodemivida.livejournal.com]

...I meant, work won't be this hard forever. Not that you'll get the sack soon or anything!! (Blimey, must engage brain before typing.)