Atoms!!

[devi]

"All right. This is a picture of an atom. Can you show me which part is the - "
"Miss, what's an atom?"
(blink) "You haven't done atoms? No? Okay... atoms are what all matter is made of. They're like the building blocks that everything is made from. You're made of atoms. I'm made of atoms. The air is made of atoms. There are lots of different kinds of atoms, have a look at this periodic table - "
(peering at his hand) "I can't see any."
"They're very, very tiny. Microscopic. Things don't get much smaller."
"But what if you cut one in half?"
(rashly) "There'd be a huge explosion."
"What?!"
"Um... atoms are held together by powerful forces. If you split one it releases lots of energy. That's where nuclear power comes from. But it's very hard to split them in the first place."
(he turns pale, eyes darting around) "So there might be some atoms in this room?"
"Yes, there's lots - everything is made of atoms."
"Do I have atoms in my eyes?"
"Yeah. Your eyes are made of atoms. Everything is made of atoms."
"So I might have atoms on me right now?" (He's rubbing his arms, to wipe the pesky things off)
"Well, because everything is made of atoms, yes, you do."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
(struggling to keep straight face) "No, it isn't. Don't worry."
"But what if I just did this - " (he pinches his fingers together) " - and split one by accident?"
"Really. Don't worry. It takes huge amounts of energy to split the atom. It's never going to happen."
"But if it did, miss, I'd be in the newspaper, yeah?"

Comments

*falls over*

[kesstrel.livejournal.com]

Bless.... how old is he? Is this the GCSE lad you've been telling me about?

Re: *falls over*

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yep, he's just gone 16, I think. The other week he was very surprised that the earth goes round the sun.

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

Can I have your students? Can you be my teacher?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Gladly, but I don't think I'm very good at teaching science :/

(I'm supposed to be teaching him maths and English, but his family have decided I should go over his science with him as well)

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I can't decide if that's funny or frightening.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I know. I can picture him trying and trying to split an atom so he'll get into the newspaper...

But it's also frightening that people can walk around being humans for 16 years in a society with an education system and not know that the earth goes round the sun, etc.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

*fluff*! and Eek!

[london-imp.livejournal.com]

I thought that was from a Simpsons episode.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Ringing distant bells. Was there one called 'Bart Splits The Atom'?

[elethe.livejournal.com]

That's absolutely fantastic. Made my day.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Mine too, though it was a struggle not to giggle until I was outside afterwards...

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

To be fair, his body splits atoms every day, of course; that's how chemicals work. It's splitting nuclei that's hard and dangerous :)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

That's true, but I didn't get as far as explaining that. I could also have gone all quantum and started talking about quarks and stuff instead of saying that atoms were the smallest piece of matter you could have, but I think I'd probably have given him a nosebleed.

[astrofeline.livejournal.com]

Aww hehe excellent ;)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Ooh, is that what your hair looks like now? Cool.

[kauket.livejournal.com]

It reminds me of the first episode of Red Dwarf...

"They’re dead Dave." Replies Holly.
"Who is?" says Lister.
"Everybody Dave" replies Holly.
"What, Captain Hollister?" Asks Lister.
"Everybody’s dead Dave." Answers Holly.
"What, Todd Hunter?" responds Lister as he eats some more of the white powder.
"Everybody’s dead Dave." Answers Holly.
"What Selby?" asks Lister in a sort of nonchalant disbelief.
"They’re all dead. Everybody’s dead Dave!" says Holly with a slight tinge of irritation.
"Peterson isn’t is he?" Says you know who.
"Everybody is DEAD Dave." Replies Holly even more irritated.
"Not Chen?"
"Gordon Bennett, yes Chen, everybody, everybody’s dead Dave!"
"Wot Rimmer?"
"He’s dead Dave, everybody’s dead, everybody is dead Dave!"
"Wait" says Lister finally, "are you trying to tell me that everybody is dead?"
Holly mutters, "I wish I’d never let him out in the first place…"

[triskellian]

Snap!

[triskellian]

Reminds me of Red Dwarf...
Lister: You mean everyone's dead?
Holly: Yes.
Lister: What about the captain?
Holly: He's dead.
Lister: What about Rimmer?
Holly: He's dead.
[repeat several times]
Holly: Everybody's dead. Everybody. Is. Dead.
Lister: So you're telling me everybody's dead?

[hazyjayne.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness!

Is this kid meant to be taking double science GCSE?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yes. *weeps*

[nisaba.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

That icon is just gorgeous however.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Icon is by vodka_fairy, and it's also an image from the cover of a book I love ("Was" by Geoff Ryman).

[inskauldrak.livejournal.com]

oh deary me, at least there's more hope for him than posh twat student!

[immoline2.livejournal.com]

sweet yet terrifying.. reminds me when I helped my brother to mark maths scripts at his school.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Best punchline ever!

[xxxlibris.livejournal.com]

This is why I wanted to be a science teacher. Wonder if there's still time?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm just a private tutor, and my only science qualification is having liked it a lot at school, so there probably is!

[primavera.livejournal.com]

You made that up.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I didn't, believe it or not! It's pretty much word for word. I wrote it down on the bus afterwards.

[otterylexa.livejournal.com]

I would definitely have said something like "They're like lego bricks, everything is made out of them."

[casca-2u.livejournal.com]

Makes me want to be a science teacher too! I like how he calls you Miss. Nobody seems to anymore, these days.

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

I'd recommend shooting him for the good of the species, but it sounds like he might not notice.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

That'd get him in the newspaper.