different names for the same thing

masthead
Originally uploaded by bluedevi

Meet Alive!, the Monthly Catholic Newspaper, found at the back of my home village church in Ireland. Alive! loves priests, nuns, saints, religious cards, unborn babies, haranguing women on their way into abortion clinics, encouraging the Third World to have as many kids as possible, Lord of the Rings, and having a heart brimming over with the love and joy of the Lord (not the same Lord). It hates the EU, environmental campaigners, the EU, contraception, Philip Pullman (of course), the EU, transsexuals, Hillary Clinton, 'Mum and Dad role reversal', gay marriage, the EU, all other newspapers, and contraception. It hates any organisation or ideology with even the most tenuous connection to contraception, which I think is the main reason it hates the EU (what, there are other issues that matter? What nonsense!)

The full photo set is here. But here are some highlights:

Global warming is a hoax perpetrated by "various groups from population controllers to green campaigners... using the issue to push their own dubious agendas". Like contraception. Also, EU moves to destroy jobs and cripple our economy!

Alive! responds to its detractors in the media, part 1. Top part of article here ("Who wrecked Roisin's head?"). Plus, liberal agenda aims to destroy society.

Bottom part here. "A girl would have to have a well-wrecked head to oppose respect for natural and lifelong marriage or to think that violence against unborn children was ok." Plus, article about the ridiculous case of a man who "wants to have his procreative organs amputated, to dress like a woman and call himself Susie". Heavens!

Alive! responds to its detractors in the media, parts 2 and 3. The Irish Times is happy to call MTF transsexuals "she", "even if it means bending the truth... What a paper!" Irish Independent also indulges in "cynical, empty mockery".

A coffee shop at the gates of hell! "After seeing pictures of the developing baby and hearing of the possible aftermath of abortion Josephine knew that she couldn't live with herself if she had her baby killed..." Note that you can support it with money or with prayer and sacrifice.

Scathing critique of The Golden Compass: "One of the supporting characters in the story, Dr. Mary Malone, is a former nun who, as Vere points out, 'abandoned her vocation to pursue sex and science'."

Lord of the Rings "is a fundamentally Catholic work"

"Children are a country's future, yet EU development funds intended for Africa routinely demand population control programmes aimed at reducing the number of babies who are born..."

"Different girls were coming and going nearly every night, and people I didn't even know were doing lines of cocaine in the sitting room. If anyone had told at that time [sic] that I would soon join the Legion of Mary, I would have laughed at them."

I'm so down with the kids that I say 'Chow' [sic] instead of goodbye!

Humour column: "Dumbag" the little red devil utterly fails to stay in his persona of demon and tempter, breaking into strange glossolalia about "the fountain of life and joy" and declaring he "needs a nervous breakdown". D minus. Go read The Screwtape Letters and see me after class.

Also look out for the adverts. For example: "Holy Face books for reparation, also medals for same. 5 fold scapulars white, brown, black, blue, red." I'll have a multipack.