(no subject)

[devi]

My bike was stolen last weekend. Which sucks, but there's no point crying over spilt bike. At least it was cheap. And the point of this post is not to whinge, but to tell you that right now I am answering an ad in Daily Info for a "Small Female Mountain".

(What makes a mountain female? What gender is, say, Mount Fuji? Or the Matterhorn? Actually that one's easy. How small is small? The size of an Irish mountain? Is it a bonsai mountain? Otherwise, how the hell am I going to collect it?)

Comments

[mooism.livejournal.com]

All mountains are female. All volcanos are male. They change gender over time, like, er, I can’t remember which creatures change gender at will or as they age, but yes.

Possibly the other way round.

[liriselei.livejournal.com]

seahorses ? several others as well, i think.

i'm reminded of the Henry Normal poem about the mountain, the title of which (having lent out my copy) escapes me...

[secondhand-rick.livejournal.com]

how the hell am I going to collect it?

Turn it into a molehill, and get the mole removed. They freeze them off these days, I'm told.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

Or else change your name by deed poll to Mohammed, and refuse to come to collect the item?

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I must have implied somehow that I was Mohammed, as (having just spoken to the guy in question) he is bringing it round for me to look at.

This raises new worries. It sounds like he sells a lot of bikes. Where does he get them from? Maybe this small female mountain will turn out to be my own bike!

[wimble.livejournal.com]

His phone number does turn up six times on the daily info page (a google search for it turns up a couple more occurences on the daily info pages, although nowhere else on the web (although that could be because of spaces in the number).

If it were a car, the advice would be "He's a dealer, not a private seller, so be (at least) extremely cautious". I'm not sure how much (given that the price is going to be around 40 quid, not 14000 quid...)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Hm, yes. Will you be around this evening? (He's coming over at about half five or six.) If so, I'd appreciate an extra pair of eyes to scope out both him and the bike...

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Yup, will do.

The obvious thing (given the other information) is whether you want to ask him if he's a bad man, or whether you just want a bike, no questions asked :)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I fear it may be unethical bike shopping. I want a Fairtrade bike.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Ah. One of the other DailyInfo hits (http://www.dailyinfo.co.uk/unified_adboard.php?col=so) describes him as doing SMALL/MEDIUM DELIVERIES CLEARENCES

So, maybe he comes by them (reasonably) legitimately when clearing properties?

[metame.livejournal.com]

I've known people making (small) money out of buying up dead bikes and bringing them back to life. I guess if you get a rep for it then you pick them up from all sorts of places.

So, they might be on the level.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

He came over a bit early in the end (I let Tommy know he didn't have to rush home!). Seemed nice enough, though I'm a poor judge of character. I asked him where he got the bikes and he said they came from house clearances and auctions. He services them and then sells them.

I went ahead and bought it. And I didn't see my own bike in the back of his car!

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

Maybe this small female mountain will turn out to be my own bike!

A clear-cut case of Poetic Injustice, if ever I heard one.

[gnimmel.livejournal.com]

There's the Jungfrau; I suspect that's probably female. It's not small, though.

I suspect this mysterious item is, in fact, a rock with a hole in it.

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

On the other side, all those Bens in Scotland.

Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains

[j4.livejournal.com]

And Kilimanjaro!

On the other hand, though, Ev-her-est.

I'll get me coat.

Re: Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, oh dear...

Your subject line is a lyric of great bizarreness. But my breasts are not at all humble, in fact they're much more egotistical than the rest of me.

Re: Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Y'know...

I'm really not sure how to comment on that...

Re: Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

much more egotistical than the rest of me

And not without cause!

Re: Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

Though all the rest of you should be egotistical too, now I come to think about it...

Re: Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains

[evilrobotshane.livejournal.com]

Grand Teton?

Re: Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains

[evilrobotshane.livejournal.com]

Or, for that matter, Fan-y-Big.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I think I might call the bike Jungfrau.

(Yes, I bought it)

[stiofan.livejournal.com]

My bike was stolen last weekend. Which sucks...
It does, sorry to hear that. Scumbags the lot of them. :(

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Thanks. To make matters worse, it was stolen from inside a yard, not on the street. Jo tells me this makes it not just theft but burglary :(

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Assuming it wasn't somebody from one of the other flats. Doesn't remove the scummy-bagness, but might aleviate the burglary charge.

Did it have any identifying marks to pass on to the police? I've had two bikes stolen. One was recovered. The give away was that it was red, with red handle-bar tape, and a red saddle, on a 25" frame (ie. large :), and the saddle was raised up an inch beyond the safety mark. There was a knack to riding it, and I was amazed to get it back with a broken kick-stand, but the saddle hadn't been lowered!

富士山

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

Fuji-san is definitely male.

Re: 富士山

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Yes, and *icon love*

[psi.livejournal.com]

I'm considering buying a bike to cycle to Belfield from town, as I just got a job in UCD, but everyone I know in Dublin has had their bike stolen!

If you lock your bike in such a way that it's causing an obstruction in UCD, they'll let the air out of your tyres..what a cool job :-)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Fssssssst.

I had a bike stolen from inside Trinity once, but it was a horrible old rustbucket and I sort of failed to lock it properly because I sort of wanted it to disappear...

[psi.livejournal.com]

Ha, was it insured :)

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Nope. I had nothing to gain from losing it, I just really hated it!

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

Your suckage still trumps it, though.

It is indeed a small mountain, but a serviceable one, it seems...